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When You Don’t Have Confidence In You

What IS confidence?

So often I think we define confidence as our ability to succeed at something we don’t know how to do yet. (And of course, we want to succeed the first time.)

In other words: we can’t start our coaching business because we don’t have the confidence [to guarantee we’ll get the results we want]. 

We can’t share what we’re doing in our business with 5 people we already know because we don’t want to ask for help [we want to control what they think of us.]

We can’t aim for a big revenue goal because we might not hit it [and we don’t have the confidence to fail – so we allow ourselves to stay small].

So often, we believe that confidence is a fixed trait: you have it or you don’t. That’s just not true. Confidence is something you can develop. 

And while we’re at it – let’s look at the textbook definition of confidence. 

confidence, n. the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust.

Can you rely on yourself?

Do you do what you say you’re going to do? 

If not, let’s start there. 

Don’t start with a giant promise to yourself, like, I’m going to send out 50 pitches today! when you’ve never even sent one. Don’t promise you’re going to go to the gym every single day if you haven’t been there in six months.

Start with a small commitment, and follow through. Then make a slightly bigger commitment, and follow through on that. 

Keep your word to yourself. Do whatever you need to do to create accountability: share your commitment with a friend or partner, join a business group, hire a coach who isn’t going to let you off easy. 

When you know you can rely on yourself, you will have the confidence to move into bigger and even more beautiful things. 

April 26, 2019

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